I sit here today with a heavy heart. I have a terrible time letting go of things from the past. I would like to say I only remember good times from years ago, but I can not. I, unfortunately, have to say I remember the bad with the good.
As I sat holding my daughter Saturday night, my heart was broken. It doesn’t help to see the huge tears roll slowly down her cheeks and to hear her tell me over and over that it hurts. All I can do is try to give her my comfort. Which is not nearly enough to keep her from suffering.
The thing that breaks my heart the absolute most is knowing that my daughter is suffering because of mistakes I made in the past. Now, some of you may disagree with that, and that is OK. I, on the other hand, will never believe anything more. We make choices and we are faced with the consequences. I believe her problems are my consequences.
Her medical problems remind me EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. of the wrong paths I chose. I watch as she cries softly at night. I give her ALL of her medicines in the morning and again at night. I rub her down with lotion after bath time. I take care of my beautiful little girl. BUT, it’s not enough to stop the pain in my heart. It’s not enough to take the guilt away from me.
So, with my broken heart and suffering daughter, I ask for prayers. Yes, we pray daily for her. But, right now, I plead with you to send out a special prayer for her. She is having a tough time. She has such a positive attitude about it all. I just pray that her life would be blessed and she could live a “normal” life.
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Comments
Oh Dani reading this just breaks my heart. I don’t really believe her suffering is you fault. We all make mistakes and yes even with asking for forgivness I still think “we” have to suffer the consequences not our innocent children. Yes she is suffering and yes she is faced with challenges and so are yall but through it all God is watching over all of you. Some where beyond our human eyes there is a purpose for all that she is going through. I will pray that her suffering is not something that she will have to deal with all her life but that she will also be the trooper that she is now for how ever long it is a part of her life.
I love yall and am praying right now. Hang in there God has a plan and I know he is watching over all of you.
This makes me want to cry, especially knowing that the reason she’s been suffering lately is my part. I am so sorry for letting her go in the Youth Room on Saturday. I didn’t even think there might be something in there that would cause her to have a reaction. Please forgive me…and know that I am most definitely praying for her!!
SISTER!!! You are soooo not to blame for her allergies. I’ve already put this in writing to you today, but you need to shake you first at Satan and say out-loud and boldly for him to get lost because he has no authority over you because you are hand-picked by Jesus the Son and God the Father!!!
I believe there are consequences, too, but as Lou said, those consequences are ours to bear. Abbey Beth is a strong little girl and is going to be an outstanding young woman with a testimony to share and a strong mother-figure (which is you) as a role model…. I’m praying for you, sweetie pie, and you just “BE STILL.”